Miss Manners: Is it rude to talk on one's phone in a public place?

"GENTLE READER: Can you do so in a normal conversational tone? Miss Manners doubts it. But it's not just you. For whatever reason, people tend to scream when they use their telephones in public, and that is rude. DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am always looking to meet new people and make new friends. But for the last five years or so, I have noticed that people only want to talk about themselves their travels, home renovations, work, etc."

"I understand that the favorite topic of conversation for most people is themselves, but what happened to a two-way conversation? My own family, friends I haven't seen in ages, and acquaintances alike only talk about themselves often in a pretentious manner. They never ask about me: what I've been doing, what my life is like, my opinion, etc. My partner has noticed the same thing, and even asked me why it keeps happening."

"Even at one of my book clubs, the host spends most of the time talking about herself, not the book. At the last meeting, after I asked a question and listened to others' answers, I started to make my own comment, but I was interrupted. I received no apology or invitation to continue. The conversation returned to the host and her life, and I found myself incredibly bored and needing to leave."

"Ditto for a dinner club that inevitably focuses on the travels of one or two in the group. I consider myself reasonably well-traveled, but I learned a long time ago that talking about one's vacations is pretentious, not to mention boring for most people. I would also point out that this type of status-seeking narration is seen by foreigners as very American meaning, shallow and unsophisticated. I equate this behavior with posting on social media about every restaurant meal and mundane event."

Loud, public cellphone conversations are rude because people frequently raise their voices in shared spaces. Many social interactions have become one-sided, with individuals focusing on their own travels, projects and achievements rather than engaging others. Interruption and failure to invite contributions leave listeners excluded and bored. Recurring conversational dominance appears in clubs and social gatherings, where hosts or a few members steer attention toward themselves. Excessive sharing of mundane personal details functions as status-seeking and resembles constant social-media posting. Such behavior can be perceived as shallow and may erode the practice of reciprocal, polite conversation.

Read at www.mercurynews.com