"Miss Manners would like to remind you gently that a condo is not high school. People form friendships for various reasons, but they are not likely to take gleeful pleasure in excluding certain individuals. (Apologies to the nice high school students. She didn't mean you.) Rather, your neighbors probably got used to socializing with the same people and simply don't think of adding you to the guest list."
"One way is to strike up a conversation and then suggest coffee or lunch. If your building has a common area, go there with a book and be on the lookout for anyone approachable. The elevator or the mail room will also do, or the condo board meetings. You could post a notice asking if anyone would like to get up a game of bridge, or whatever you might play."
Condo neighbors often form habitual social circles rather than intentionally excluding others. Feeling left out can result from not being included in established routines or from continuing friendships with former residents. Overcoming exclusion requires taking initiative to create connections. Strategies include initiating conversations, suggesting coffee or lunch, using common areas, elevators, mail rooms, or board meetings to meet people, posting notices to organize games, and knocking on doors to introduce oneself. Reaching out directly and consistently cultivates friendships. Becoming proactive in social outreach helps transform peripheral acquaintances into friends and reduces feelings of hurt and isolation.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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