Miss Manners: Her tedious phone calls are one thing. The episode with the cats is quite another.

"I have a friend I've known for over 30 years. We're both retired. I'm married, she isn't. I keep very busy with a big house, rescued animals and projects I like to work on. I'm not much for talking long on the phone, but I don't mind texting, because I can reply when I have time."

"The last couple of years, this friend has become increasingly annoying with her phone calls. If I reply quickly to her texts, she takes it as an open invitation to call me. She'll talk for hours about the quilts or the loaves of bread she's made."

"The last straw was when she threw her two cats outside. One ended up dead in the neighbors' yard, and who knows what happened to the other one. I think the first one was poisoned, from what she was telling me. She didn't seem to care."

"And you are maintaining this friendship because? Those 30 years, of course."

A retired person with a busy life seeks validation for avoiding contact with a 30-year friend who has become increasingly demanding with frequent phone calls. The writer prefers texting over calls and finds the friend's conversations about quilts and bread tedious. The friend posts embarrassing personal content on social media and recently threw her cats outside, resulting in one cat's death. The writer employs avoidance tactics like delayed responses and false excuses about phone malfunctions. Miss Manners questions why this friendship continues, suggesting that shared history alone doesn't justify maintaining a relationship when fundamental incompatibilities exist regarding communication preferences, values, and lifestyle priorities.

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