'Mankeeping' Is Building Resentment In Straight Relationships. And Women Are Finally Talking About It.

"Ava, 27, seemed unbothered by her partner's inability to communicate his emotions. "We have enough to think about," she told me as she slid her laptop out of her tote bag, still dressed in her tweed blazer from work. It wasn't serious, anyway. She'd been dating Max for a few months when it struck her - mid-conversation with a friend - that she had no idea what he felt about her or their future. So she stopped asking."

"Sara, 21, recalled sitting on her bed while her boyfriend begged her to hear him out. He wasn't remorseful for cheating, he just no longer wanted to sit with his shame. "I was done," she said. And yet, he expected her to comfort him. "I had to help him find the words for his feelings, not his actions," - long silences, teasing through shame and self-hatred. "He didn't know what he wanted to say," she said. "And then I made him feel OK about it"."

"In intimate relationships, young women are taking on a disproportionate load of invisible emotional labor, often supporting men through intense feelings of failure and isolation from friends. Many men described feeling "weird or like a waste of time" when opening up to male friends, instead reserving vulnerability for their relationships with women. While men consider this unburdening to women a "natural part" of their relationships, those same women describe it as work- what researchers at Stanford University call "mankeeping.""

Young women are increasingly withdrawing from romantic relationships after shouldering disproportionate invisible emotional labor without reciprocal support. Many women report managing male partners' vulnerability, shame, and isolation while translating or validating feelings that men struggle to express. Some women respond by stopping emotional inquiry or ending care when demands become burdensome. Men often find male friendships an uncomfortable space for emotional disclosure and instead reserve vulnerability for female partners. This dynamic is described by researchers as "mankeeping" and contributes to a 23% lower desire among women to date compared with men.

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