"Limerence is a term coined in 1979 by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe the involuntary, obsessive preoccupation with a specific person - what she called the 'limerent object.' It shows up as intrusive thinking, a hunger for any sign of reciprocation, wild mood swings tied to the smallest gesture, and the physical symptoms people usually call butterflies: racing heart, shallow breath, trembling hands."
"The biochemistry is vivid. PEA (phenylethylamine) floods the system alongside dopamine and norepinephrine - the same cocktail behind a runner's high and a gambler's pull. Oxytocin deepens bonding through touch. Limerence is a spotlight - it narrows attention to one candidate just long enough for a pair bond to form."
"The signs are unmistakable once you know them: intrusive thoughts, idealization that edits out flaws, fear of rejection that colors every text message, and that peculiar physical charge that makes ordinary rooms feel electric."
Limerence, a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, describes an involuntary obsession with a specific person, marked by intrusive thoughts and a desire for reciprocation. It involves physical symptoms like racing heart and trembling hands, driven by neurochemicals such as PEA, dopamine, and norepinephrine. Limerence narrows focus on one individual to facilitate pair bonding but is not meant to last. Recognizing its signs, including idealization and fear of rejection, can help new couples understand their feelings better.
Read at The Gottman Institute
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