"She lived in constant fear of triggering an outburst, carefully monitoring everything she said and did in an effort to avoid conflict and keep the peace. But it never worked for long. She loved her mother deeply, yet by the time she left, she felt exhausted, drained, and desperate for space. This kind of exhaustion is sometimes known as relational burnout, a state of emotional depletion that comes from continually managing another person's volatile moods, reactions, or crises."
"As in the example above, this sense of "walking on eggshells" is a hallmark of being around someone whose moods are unpredictable and easily triggered. It's common in relationships with people who struggle with emotional dysregulation, particularly those with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders or traits, as well as other high-conflict personalities who often have difficulty reflecting on their own actions or changing their behavior."
"For those close to them, this instability breeds anxiety and hypervigilance. Loved ones learn to anticipate outbursts before they happen. They censor their thoughts, soften their tone, and adjust their behavior in an effort to prevent anger, rejection, or emotional chaos. Every word or action feels like it could set off an explosion. Over time, this vigilance becomes exhausting. Relational burnout follows a familiar cycle: engagement, hypervigilance, burnout, guilt and shame, and finally, re-engagement."
Relational burnout is emotional depletion from continually managing another person's volatile moods, reactions, or crises. People living with emotionally dysregulated or high-conflict individuals often feel like they are 'walking on eggshells.' Loved ones become hypervigilant, censoring thoughts, softening tone, and adjusting behavior to avert outbursts or rejection. That prolonged vigilance produces exhaustion, anxiety, and cognitive and physical toll. Relational burnout typically cycles through engagement, hypervigilance, burnout, guilt and shame, and re-engagement. Stepping away provides relief but re-engagement often occurs, deepening emotional fatigue. The pattern commonly appears in relationships with people who have borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders or high-conflict traits.
Read at Psychology Today
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