"I've dabbled in the world of Feeld lately, and have received some interest from hot men for potential threesomes/more and have been tempted to try it but something keeps holding me back. I'm so afraid of feeling like the odd one out or the less enticing person in the party. It's an insecurity I would say I have in many areas of life beyond sex-I often feel like the one who gets left out in the friend group or the social gathering and I'm so afraid of feeling rejected in that way in a sexual context."
"The fear of being left out is so common it must be up there with fears of heights and snakes. This can be especially pronounced in vulnerable situations like sex, when rejection feels that much more personal as a result of what has been revealed (your body, your desires, etc.). However, when it comes to pursuing sex, rejection is always a possibility, and that's how it has to be. People must have the ability to revoke consent at any moment for whatever reason, and the hurt feelings of those who are denied is merely collateral."
Fear of being left out is a common anxiety that intensifies in sexual and vulnerable situations. Group sex can trigger worries about being the least desired participant and experiencing rejection. Rejection is an inherent possibility in sexual encounters because consent must remain revocable at any moment. Hurt feelings from denied encounters are often collateral to others' choices. Repeated exposure to rejection can reduce its sting, normalize the experience, and build emotional resilience. If an inability to tolerate rejection is strong, using hookup apps or pursuing group encounters may lead to repeated disappointment and greater distress.
Read at Slate Magazine
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