"We have had phone sex and cam sex, and have exchanged lots of sexy pictures, texts, and videos. We have explored topics such as dominance and submission, and we talk about fantasies that might not be to most people's taste. We have gotten to a point where he can make me orgasm without me touching myself. And we have lots of common interests beyond sex and connect on those topics."
"My problem is that lately, our phone conversations have been almost entirely safe for work. I'm the only one initiating by sending erotic photos and texts, and a few times, they went unremarked upon. This has only recently started happening in the past few weeks. We still talk all the time! He clearly makes time and energy for me. But I don't especially want to continue things if I'm not having a sexy time."
"I know I need to use my words and ask what's going on, but I don't know what words to use! Can you help me come up with a script? I feel like, because we're not in a proper, in-person, committed relationship, I shouldn't expect or want more, so I can't figure out how to ask for what I do want."
A woman in her early 40s experienced a hormonal increase in libido and began writing and publishing erotica online, which led to a six-month sexual and intellectual online correspondence with a reader named 'Gabriel.' They engaged in phone sex, cam sex, and exchanged explicit media and explored dominant/submissive fantasies, achieving hands-free orgasms. The interaction remains noncommittal and intentionally online, and Gabriel is stimulating but prickly and unsuitable as an in-person partner. Recently the sexual element faded: conversations became mostly safe-for-work and she alone initiates erotic contact, sometimes without response. She feels attached but unsure how to ask for renewed erotic engagement or end the arrangement.
Read at Slate Magazine
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