"I'm fine with taking care of myself the rest of the time and, as far as I know, my wife doesn't need to take care of herself very often (just not that into it). We've had discussions about having more sex, and we always agree that it should happen more often. However, when I try to initiate, I'm fairly often turned away because "It's too late" (at night) or "I'm tired" or "I'm not in the mood" (during the day)."
"As a part of exploring options, I recently went to a full-nude strip club. I wanted to just see something different and get a different type of horny. I paid for a lap dance then left. I did not tell my wife about it. I generally feel no regret for going. I got what I needed and left. However, I now know that this particular experience will satisfy my needs (when I feel them). And I know I will want to go back."
A straight, mid-30s man in an eight-year marriage with a young toddler reports that sexual intimacy dropped to about once or twice per month after the child. He says his wife often rejects his advances citing tiredness or low mood despite mutual agreement to increase frequency. He visited a full-nude strip club, paid for a lap dance, felt no regret, and experienced sexual relief without emotional attachment. He fears returning could become a hidden habit, worries that looking at naked women outside the marriage constitutes cheating, and is uncertain whether to disclose this to his wife.
Read at Slate Magazine
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