"I (46F) met a (44M) who seemed charming. But, on the second date, he started to tell me about his vices. He failed school due to coke addiction and he is a casual smoker. I thought, well he has his life together now and I can tolerate a rare cigarette. Then, after his third drink, he confessed that he still does coke and just left alcohol rehab! His personality changed and he got sullen about his inability to keep relationships."
"He freaked out, demanded to know how many people I had slept with, and then ended the date and escorted me out of the bar. He texted me saying how sad he was that he couldn't date a woman like me because of my history. I was royally pissed that he slut shamed me after I listened to him with compassion. I told him not to feel sad, he did me a favor, and that at least my "addiction" brought couples together instead of tearing"
A 46-year-old woman met a 44-year-old man who revealed past cocaine addiction and current smoking, then admitted ongoing cocaine use and recent alcohol rehab discharge. He became sullen about relationship failures and pressured her for sex. She truthfully disclosed past casual sex but said she now wants monogamy and to build trust. He reacted by demanding how many partners she had, ending the date, escorting her out, and sending a condemning text that slut-shamed her. She feels anger and regret for trusting him, now worries about what to disclose and when, and seeks a way to own sexual history without being judged.
Read at Slate Magazine
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