"You purposely deceived someone in order to make a connection, and now that you have that connection, you want more. Meanwhile, your friend will end up with less. It is safe to assume that her attachment to and comfort around you are predicated on your lie. You're asking what to say to make her forget, as if I'm a wizard who's been holding out on revealing a magic technique for mind-editing."
"Keep up the deception and forget any kind of romantic pursuit because to her, you are as good as gay. You will have to keep up this deception for the rest of your life and/or friendship (whichever ends first), which seems exhausting and doomed to fail. Or you can come clean and hope that she is already in love with you and has been secretly wishing that you would just turn straight already."
A man has maintained a three-year friendship with a woman by falsely claiming to be gay, initially seeking platonic affection. He has since developed romantic and sexual interest in her after seeing her naked multiple times, which she permitted only because she believed him to be gay. He seeks advice on how to proposition her while making her forget his false sexual orientation. The advice columnist explains that his options are limited: either maintain the deception permanently while abandoning romantic pursuit, or confess the truth and accept that she will likely feel angry and betrayed upon learning he deliberately manipulated her trust.
#deception-in-relationships #sexual-orientation-misrepresentation #friendship-boundaries #romantic-ethics #trust-violation
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