"Is this merely a practical problem of just finding people? Or is there some kind of desire at hand to convert people? "Is it unrealistic to expect to get a normie to be willing to join me in my world?" Why would that even be important? Even if you want to go by this method of surprise-which is not the best and we'll get to that-wouldn't it be better for everybody if you happened upon somebody who also happened to be into BDSM?"
"Jessica Stoya: Two possibilities come to mind. One is about a fetishistic aspect, as you point out. I'm wondering if the man is into being dominant himself with some element of desire to emotionally control. That means he gets his rocks off harder if he is bringing someone into something they wouldn't necessarily do. If that's the case, all these partner"
A man reports that revealing his strong BDSM preferences after several months of dating consistently causes partners to freak out and ghost him despite having a fully equipped dungeon and successful online kink encounters. Two responders question whether the goal is to convert 'normies' or whether a fetishistic pleasure derives from bringing partners into unfamiliar sexual roles. They suggest that surprising partners with intense practices undermines consent and expectations. They recommend seeking partners already interested in BDSM, being transparent earlier about sexual preferences, examining motives around dominance and emotional control, and joining kink-aware social circles for compatible, consenting relationships.
Read at Slate Magazine
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