"When I first met him so many years ago, everything about him felt like a deep sigh of relief. I found him, I used to think. I've done it. We fell for each other fast and fell apart slow, a pattern that would define us for a decade or so. Passion, relief, adoration, joy, fury, heartbreak, ending, reunion. Repeat, repeat, repeat."
"I can say now that I am not in love with my partner anymore. I can guess now that he does not love me either. We feel like one of those leaky faucets that you turn off and on and fiddle with so many times that eventually, you just have to accept that it's broken for good. This is when the big decision gets made."
"In so many ways, I can't quite believe that I have become the kind of person who would choose to live in a loveless relationship. Me? The woman who can quote romantic comedies from at least the last six decades verbatim? The Hallmark movie lover? The reader of bodice-rippers; the love song lover? Jane Austen's biggest fan? I had a different idea of what a "loveless" relationship would look like if it ever came for me."
A woman once loved her partner intensely, and their relationship cycled through passion, separation, and reunion for about a decade. Both partners repeatedly returned to each other out of love, creating a pattern of joy, fury, heartbreak, and reconciliation. The woman now recognizes that neither partner feels in love anymore. The relationship is compared to a leaky faucet repeatedly fiddled with until it breaks, forcing a choice between replacing it or living with the drip. She decides to live with the drip, feeling surprised by the choice yet relieved to experience emotional neutrality and ordinary days.
Read at Scary Mommy
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