"When I came out of the bathroom, I heard a noise coming from one of the guest rooms and walked in on my brother-in-law going down on one of my cousins (she's married as well). They begged me to keep my mouth shut since both of them have kids, and this would obviously blow up their marriages. In the shock of the moment, I agreed."
"This situation is miserable, and there is no ideal way forward. Lots of folks who are directly involved-and many more who aren't, ranging from extended family members to readers of the column-will have their own opinions on what's right. A few of those will probably involve a belief that their preference is, in fact, the ideal or even only acceptable way. That only compounds the complexity (not the readers, so much, as the members of your family)."
A person discovered a brother-in-law performing oral sex on a married cousin and agreed to keep silent when both asked, citing their children and the risk to their marriages. There is no ideal way forward. Possible responses include remaining silent; telling only the sister or only the cousin's husband; telling both spouses; or telling the two involved that they must confess or the witness will. The recommended approach is to thoroughly examine possible actions, compare them to personal moral standards, consider how affected family members will be impacted, and then choose after careful deliberation.
Read at Slate Magazine
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