"Dear How to Do It, I've been with my husband 14 years, married 11 of those. Before we married, I discovered he had female friends and exes that he kept secret from me. He "didn't know how to openly talk with me," he said, but he could with these other women. Yes, all these were people he was attracted to, but swore it was platonic. I forgave him and we moved forward."
"Over the 11 years, I have again discovered "platonic" female friends that he has found on Craigslist, Zoosk, Fetoo, and other dating sites. One woman was a bike-riding friend (at my urging, he began long daily bike rides), and I later learned he told her he was single. She believed they were in a relationship and knew nothing about me."
"I was devastated. He has no clue it was me. He tried many times to arrange a meeting but I always canceled, and those were the times he made up stories at home about having to work, then suddenly the job for the time was canceled. I noticed a pattern that when he was sending sexually explicit messages with details of sex positions, and then those"
A wife married 11 years recounts repeated discoveries of her husband's secret female friends and online contacts that he claimed were platonic. He used dating sites and told at least one woman he was single; he blamed her child's mental health crisis for her inattention. Over time he called and texted other women and pushed for hookups. The wife created a fake online account and received immediate sexual messages, pictures, and meetup requests; he lied about being a widower. He repeatedly canceled at home with fabricated work stories. She observed a pattern of sexually explicit messaging and deception.
Read at Slate Magazine
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