"I don't know if you can. This was a sincere moment. Your feelings were indicating something that your brain didn't realize. Maybe you weren't really ready for this kind of contact after all that happened. Or maybe part of you was ready for it and another part of you wasn't. Ambivalence is the norm for a lot of situations. Our feelings can conflict and we may not even realize it until they're pouring out of us."
"Or maybe part of you was ready for it and another part of you wasn't. Ambivalence is the norm for a lot of situations. Our feelings can conflict and we may not even realize it until they're pouring out of us. Maybe the first post-divorce sex was just so momentous that your emotions followed suit and outpoured. Showing someone this side of you may feel vulnerable, even unsafe. It may even come off as taboo if you're a guy."
Unexpected crying during post-divorce sex can reflect unprocessed grief, ambivalence, and conflicting readiness for intimacy. Feelings can surface suddenly when the brain recognizes emotional significance that consciousness had not anticipated. Part of a person may be ready for sexual contact while another part remains unready, producing simultaneous attraction and distress. Experiencing vulnerability in sexual encounters can feel unsafe, especially for men given social taboos about male tears. Casual partners may perceive such emotional displays as too intense. Managing these reactions involves acknowledging feelings, pacing physical intimacy, communicating boundaries and expectations, and seeking emotional processing or therapy if needed.
Read at Slate Magazine
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