"Meet Marla. She and her husband, Brent, are sitting in my office. We're about to start a two-day intensive course of therapy to determine whether their marriage is salvageable. I soon learn that Marla and Brent have three children under age seven. She is a stay-at-home mom, he is an attorney. They met abroad while traveling in the Italy 15 years ago, fell madly in love, and married soon thereafter. Both partners insist it was love at first sight."
"Now, fast forward to today. Marla says she is seriously considering divorce; They fight all the time. Asking what Marla considers to be their major source of conflict, she replies, "We argue vehemently about politics, and I am really questioning if I can stay with someone whose core values are so different from mine. It's gotten to the point that I can't believe I'm actually married to this person anymore. I don't recognize him.""
"Jason grew up in a politically conservative home. When he went to college, his views about the world changed and he brcame decidedly less conservative than his parents and two other siblings. Over the past few years, the differences in their political views diverged even more, and, as a result, family get-togethers became very contentious. Kayla resented that Jason's parents seemed relentless about having political debates during family dinners."
Marla and Brent married after meeting abroad and once shared many passions including travel, music, art, gourmet food, and outdoor adventures. They now have three children under seven and repeatedly fight, with Marla considering divorce because political arguments reveal deep value differences she no longer recognizes in her husband. Kayla and Jason faced marital strain after an affair and additional conflict stemming from Jason's politically conservative extended family. Jason's ideological shift from his parents made family gatherings contentious. Kayla resented recurring political debates at meals and sought to stop contact between their children and Jason's parents to protect the children from those perspectives.
Read at Psychology Today
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