How Long Is the Perfect First Date?

"Regarding traditional dating scripts, despite egalitarian claims, there has been little change over the years in terms of gender roles and expected behavior, making first date formats "highly predictable." One concept rings true in all circumstances: on a first date, timing matters. How long should a first date be? Because first impressions are formed so quickly, the answer is a few hours maximum."

"Dating decisions involve location, time of day, and day of the week. First dates might be easier to plan, considering they are more likely to involve a meal or coffee rather than a long round of golf or an hours-long sporting activity. But unlike years past, many first daters will choose coffee and conversation rather than a movie-which offers no opportunity to get to know each other, unless you prolong the commitment to include a meal before or afterward."

"Many people are nervous before first dates. They are concerned about their appearance and behavior, and desperately hope their dinner partner will laugh at their jokes. In order to reduce discomfort, more casual meetings that anticipate casual clothing and conversation create less anticipatory anxiety due to lower expectations. Meeting over your lunch hour at a trendy sandwich shop is less stressful than meeting for dinner, which usually means more formal clothing and a longer time commitment."

First-date dynamics remain shaped by predictable gender roles and expected behavior despite claims of greater egalitarianism. Timing on a first date is crucial because first impressions form rapidly, so dates need not last more than a few hours. Short, focused meetings—such as coffee or a meal—allow conversation and mutual assessment while avoiding the passive format of a movie. Casual settings and daytime meetings reduce anticipatory anxiety by lowering expectations for appearance and performance. Limiting the duration to one or two hours creates comfortable boundaries and leaves room for anticipation, increasing the likelihood of a follow-up meeting.

Read at Psychology Today