How Do You Cook With Your Spouse Without Getting a Divorce?

"You already know that a lot of our work takes place in the Bon Appétit Test Kitchen. But the truth is, a lot of our work also takes place on...Slack. (An instant messaging platform for grown-ups, in case you haven't had the pleasure. Like AIM but less fun.) Today I'm giving you a guest pass and inviting you to crash one of our channels. On Friday, I chatted with executive director of video Dan Siegel, senior Test Kitchen editor Shilpa Uskokovic, Test Kitchen editor Rebecca Firkser, and social media manager Cristina Correa, all about cooking with their partners. Join us!"

"Chris: We are all married, right, and my question is, how do you survive cooking with your spouse and not split up by the time the food is ready? Genuinely asking since I don't even try. It's like Ikea- going there with a partner can ruin a perfectly good relationship- but maybe that is just me. Thoughts?"

"Dan: With isn't necessarily how I'd put it, Chris. My house is filled with actual monsters (human children 5 years old and under) and it's pretty rare that someone is not entirely devoted to that situation. On weeknights it's more about who is taking charge and protecting the chef from distraction to get dinner done as fast as possible.."

Several staff members describe common tensions and solutions for cooking with spouses or partners. One person reports immediate irritation when a partner attempts tasks like chopping an onion. Others emphasize household logistics, noting that young children create distractions and make weeknight cooking a matter of protecting the chef to finish quickly. Some households designate a single “Chef” while assigning each person specific tasks so everyone stays on their own lane. One spouse was trained by watching a cooking show, producing an amused, cooperative response during serious kitchen moments. Role clarity and task division prevent arguments.

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