"You should resist interfering with any of your sisters' plans for your mom, which seem harmless (aside from, of course, potentially offending your mom) even if they aren't necessary. Just take a backseat. If she wants to encourage your mom to get tested for dementia, great! That's good information to have. And if one of your siblings wants to move her into their home and your mom is on board, it could be a good arrangement for everyone."
"My dad bought a stereotypical overpriced car and picked up douchey dating habits. Mom announced that she got a boob job. She panned the FaceTime over her sweater, and the new size was eye-popping. It was extremely unexpected in every way. She got it months ago and then kept it secret from us until it healed. I don't like this for her, and it's out of character and too much information, too. But she's an adult, and it's done. She says she's recovered fine."
Parents divorced in 2024 have adopted conspicuous, unexpected behaviors: the father bought an overpriced car and developed flashy dating habits, while the mother secretly underwent a substantial breast augmentation and revealed it months later via FaceTime. Siblings, who live out of state, reacted with worry and suggested dementia evaluation or having the mother move in with one of them. Advice is to avoid interfering, take a backseat, and allow siblings to pursue concerns, since encouraging dementia testing or offering a living arrangement can be constructive. The mother does not have to be diagnosable to benefit from support; therapy and increased family attention may help.
Read at Slate Magazine
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