"In my opinion, it's always rude to ask how much money someone makes, so I always tell people that I'm not going to give them that information. The problem is that when I say that, people get visibly uncomfortable or make jokes about it. Some will say things like, Oh, it must be a lot if you won't tell us, or Must be nice! Others push even harder and try to guess the number out loud."
"You do not have to succumb to their pressure. The best way to accomplish that is to accept that you are proud of where you are, and that's enough. Deflect when people ask you. Say your parents always taught you not to talk about salaries. You can say you are grateful for your career and you continue to work hard for it. Then, pivot to another topic."
A newly promoted vice president feels uncomfortable when friends and family repeatedly ask about salary and reacts by refusing to disclose that information. Those questions provoke jokes, speculation and tension that turn a celebratory moment into something transactional. The person is proud of hard work and a modest upbringing and does not want income details to alter relationships or ease others' discomfort. Recommended responses include accepting pride in the achievement, deflecting questions by citing upbringing, expressing gratitude for the career, and steering the conversation elsewhere while allowing others to speculate unless salary becomes public. A second letter begins about a sister roommate encroaching on friends while the writer struggles financially.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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