"Choose a time to speak with your husband when your daughter is not in the house. Tell him you know about his affair, and ask him to tell you what he wants. Point out that you know things have been strained between you, but until recently you had no idea he was stepping out on you. You two need to address your issues and figure out a way forward. Ask him to respect you enough to do that."
"If he pushes back and wants to know how you found out, you can protect your daughter and not tell him about her. If he needs to know how grave the situation is because she also knows, tell him the truth and be sure to give her the heads up, but this really is between you and him. She should not be involved."
When a child discovers incriminating texts revealing a spouse's affair, address the spouse privately and ask for clarity about intentions. Acknowledge existing strain in the relationship while asserting that there was no prior knowledge of infidelity. Protect the child by not revealing her role in the discovery unless absolutely necessary, and give the child advance warning if disclosure becomes required. Keep the child excluded from negotiations and resolution between partners. Separately, a long-standing friend is upset after not being defended during a heated group-chat argument; the neutral party feels torn between avoiding drama and repairing the friendship.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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