"I regret not making the drive to see them more or putting more effort in to see them outside of just the holidays. I want to call my grandchildren, but they seem so busy with their jobs and friends. I don't want to bother them or annoy them, but I think about them all the time, and I want to have a relationship where I am much closer to them all."
"Don't lament the past. Think about the future. Invite your grands to join you on a video chat. Be attentive and let them tell you about their lives. If everybody likes it, invite them again in a couple of months. Perhaps you can establish a rhythm of communicating with them starting with every quarter. You can also send them texts with images or messages to stay in touch."
Three adult grandchildren live across the country and were seen mainly during holidays when they were growing up, leaving the grandparent with regret and guilt. The grandparent fears missed chances and worries that the grandchildren might feel uncared for, while also wanting to express love and pride without pressuring them. Suggested actions include initiating video chats, listening attentively, sending texts or images, and establishing a regular rhythm of contact such as quarterly check-ins. Occasional visits can allow the grandchildren to show their current lives. The emphasis is on forward-looking, low-pressure reconnection rather than dwelling on the past.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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