Do You Feel Pressure Around Valentine's Day?

"Couples are anxious to make restaurant reservations at the most coveted spots to maximize the romance they expect from this day. However, romance might significantly be dampened for some of us who feel pressure from their partners or from friends and family. For some, Valentine's Day might feel more like a relationship performance review, when partners try to get a sense of each other's"

"Research on temporal landmarks has shown that special days in the calendar (e.g., New Year's Eve or one's birthday) create landmarks that can lead us to evaluate, take stock, and increase willingness to change. We know that many failed New Year's resolutions result from this principle (Steinmetz, 2024). However, Valentine's Day can be a similar landmark in the calendar for romantic couples, who"

"might compare the state of their relationship to their desired ideal when such a landmark comes around. This can invite questions such as: Where is this relationship going? or Does my partner's effort match my expectations for this stage? Importantly, a missed romantic gesture around such a landmark seems much more informative about the state of the relationship than it would on other, regular days. This can increase the psychological pressure people feel around Valentine's Day-and nothing kills romance as reliably as pressure."

Valentine's Day encourages couples to seek heightened romance and make coveted plans, but it also produces pressure from partners, friends, and family. The holiday functions as a temporal landmark that prompts people to evaluate their relationships against an ideal and to consider change. Missed gestures around the holiday are perceived as especially informative about relationship health, intensifying doubts about commitment and direction. Social media shifts private gestures into public displays that enable comparisons across couples, amplifying expectations. The combined influence of temporal landmarks and social comparison increases psychological pressure and can reduce authentic romantic feelings.

Read at Psychology Today