"No one in the family is sad that he's no longer with us; most of us are happy to move on. One of my sisters, however, wants to have a big party to celebrate the 10th anniversary of his death. She envisions a celebratory dinner at a fancy restaurant followed by a party at her house, complete with a contest for throwing darts at his picture."
"You and your siblings are fortunate to have been able to move forward from the trauma you suffered at the hands of your father. Your sister obviously hasn't been so fortunate. She's wrong to threaten you with excommunication if you refuse her invitation to a death day party for the abuser. I hope none of you knuckle under. As a victim of abuse, she could use intensive counseling, and I hope at some point she'll reach out for it."
A father inflicted physical and sexual abuse on family members, and most relatives feel relief at his death and want to move on. One sister plans a tenth-anniversary celebration of his death, including a dinner and a party featuring a contest to throw darts at his picture. Most siblings refuse to participate and view celebrating the death as counterproductive. The sister threatens to cut off contact if others do not attend. The recommended response is to decline coercion; the sister appears to need intensive counseling to avoid isolating herself and to process trauma healthily.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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