"He's extremely negative, verbally abusive and estranged from many friends, which has harmed my relationships with friends and family. He drinks almost all day (I drink as well), calls me horrible names I won't repeat and refuses to respect my sleep needs (I'm still working). He thinks he's being funny when he acts this way. Seth doesn't hear well, so he talks softly, and this also leads to unnecessary arguments."
"Go online to Al-Anon, find a location near you and attend some of the meetings. Then, if you are really at the end of your rope, draw the line with your disrespectful, alcoholic verbal abuser. Tell him loudly, when he's a little more sober than usual, that you have had it and that if he doesn't stop drinking, his marriage is over. Then save yourself and follow through."
My retired husband of 15 years, Seth, is extremely negative, verbally abusive and isolated from friends, which has damaged my relationships with family and friends. He drinks almost all day, calls me horrible names, refuses to respect my sleep needs, and speaks softly due to poor hearing, leading to unnecessary arguments. I feel my independence and spirit eroding, constantly walking on eggshells and dreading coming home. Recommended actions are to attend Al-Anon meetings and set a firm boundary: warn him when relatively sober that continued drinking will end the marriage, then follow through. Another letter describes waiting five years to have children, a partner's change of heart, in-laws moving in and the partner moving out.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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