"Eight months ago, one of the girls, Charlotte, had a sleepover, and Emma was not invited. She was very hurt and cried. I told her she would not always be invited to everything and maybe there was a limit Charlotte could invite. Since then, whenever there is an event that she knows Charlotte will be at, Emma refuses to go. For eight months she has purposely skipped some parties and Scouting events."
"DEAR MOM: It is time your daughter was taught that she doesn't have to like everyone she socializes with however, she may need to get along with them. If she can absorb that lesson, it will benefit her as she goes through school and beyond. Tell Emma you hate seeing her punish herself, thinking it will hurt Charlotte, when Charlotte may not notice her absence at all. Although Emma is just 11, the time has come for her to do some growing up."
"I had her sit with me, but I was trying to deal with friends and family I hadn't seen in a long time. I ended up unable to talk with everyone as the funeral was very emotional. I appreciated her coming, but I wished she hadn't been there. I prefer to avoid funerals because I become emotional. Unless it's immediate family, I prefer to remember the deceased the way they were and keep those images as my last memories."
An 11-year-old girl named Emma stopped attending events when a particular friend, Charlotte, would be present after not being invited to a sleepover. Emma has purposely skipped parties and Scouting events for eight months, while the group still interacts at school. A parent urges teaching Emma to get along with peers even if she does not like them, to prevent self-punishment and to preserve social opportunities. A separate friend attended a funeral to support someone but felt uncomfortable and emotionally overwhelmed, and struggles with whether to attend future funerals for acquaintances to support others.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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