"For example, at a networking event in which people don't want to lead off with what they do, children seem a safe topic. In my opinion, if someone wants to bring up the subject of children, they should first ask if everyone in the group has them, because it becomes awkward when they get to me, and I say we are childless."
"Nine months ago, my friend Anne moved in with me after losing her home following her boyfriend's death. Since then, she's had trouble finding employment, and when she does work, she spends money on stuff she really doesn't need. She's always talking about how she hates to be a burden on me and will move out ASAP. Then she buys random stuff from online shopping sites (like designer purses and clothes), so I doubt she's saving for her own place yet."
"She says it's because she's been through a lot and she deserves it. She has a you only live once mindset. She once encouraged me to buy a brand-new $300 set of luggage just because I liked it. She also shows her appreciation to me by buying me things. We're both in our mid-50s, each with an only child in their 30s, and I'm trying to get rid of stuff I don't need so my daughter won't have to deal with it when I'm gone."
A child-free couple feels uncomfortable when group conversations assume everyone has children and recommends that people ask first whether participants have children to avoid exclusion. A suggested concise reply for those without children is 'My wife and I are child-free.' Another person is housing a friend who lost her home, and the friend struggles to find steady work while making frequent impulsive purchases such as designer purses and expensive luggage. The housemate worries the friend is not saving to move out, resents the friend's spending and gift-giving, and recognizes limits on controlling another adult's financial choices while preferring those funds be used toward independent housing.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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