"DEAR ABBY: I am 85 and dating a man, Larry, who is 62. Over the course of 25 years we became good platonic friends doing community charity and church volunteer work. During that time, I also took care of my husband, who was suffering from Alzheimer's for 12 years. Five years ago, my husband died, which left me totally alone. Two years ago, Larry, a lifelong bachelor, asked me out. We get along wonderfully and eventually fell in love."
"My problem is, I can't get over the age difference. I feel like everyone is judging us because of it, and we have never actually discussed it. Truthfully, I'm frightened to death of the subject. We are both financially secure. We are both Christians. We are involved with community activities and help charities meet financial goals, feed the poor, etc. We trust one another and have similar core values and integrity."
"DEAR JUST': I'm glad you asked. If you and Larry love each other and share similar values, you would have to be crazy to permit what people might say to destroy what you have together. You haven't said he has proposed marriage. If he does, more the better. No one has a contract with God. You are 85 years young. Please enjoy the years you have left to the fullest, and don't be ashamed of doing it."
An 85-year-old woman describes developing a romantic relationship with a 62-year-old longtime friend after caring for her late husband with Alzheimer's. Both partners are financially secure, active in church and community charity work, and share core values and integrity. The woman worries about the age gap and fears judgment, and she has not discussed the difference with her partner. Advice given urges prioritizing mutual love and shared values over others' opinions, suggests acceptance of potential proposals, and encourages enjoying remaining years without shame. A separate correspondent expects a grandchild and fears a large, unpredictable dog named Bruno while visiting.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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