"Essentially, a couple agrees to be monogamous with each other when it comes to people of their partner's gender, but they remain open to sexual relationships with the other genders if one or both partners are bisexual or queer. I am only in a relationship with one person - a man - but I am allowed to sleep with women. James is straight and exclusively with me. I, on the other hand, am bisexual, and so can still date and occasionally sleep with women."
"She went on to summarise the arrangement as a way of "honouring my sexuality without feeling like I have to suppress a part of myself". Nova said she has previously been in completely monogamous relationships with both men and women but in those relationships felt her continued attraction to other people created an "inner conflict". In this way, a hetero-monogamous relationship is not about "looking for loopholes" but creating a relationship which fulfils both people equally."
Hetero-monogamy describes a relationship arrangement where partners are exclusive with each other regarding people of their partner’s gender while permitting attraction-directed relationships with other genders for bisexual or queer partners. One common form involves a bisexual partner remaining committed to a heterosexual partner while occasionally dating or sleeping with people of their own gender. The arrangement aims to honour sexual orientation and reduce internal conflict without being a loophole to cheat. Hetero-monogamous arrangements fall under the broader umbrellas of polyamory and ethical non-monogamy and rely on explicit agreements between partners.
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