"It seems like she's fallen into the pattern of being the sullen teenager, making you the nagging parent. But you're not her parent and, if she's finishing college, she's probably not a teenager either. She's a guest in your home and she needs to treat the home and you with respect. If she won't contribute to the order of the home and won't communicate with you, then it's not working, and you should tell her that."
"She doesn't get a free pass. If you want to give her another chance before asking her to leave, then it's time to have a state of the arrangement conversation where you lay out what your expectations are and ask her if she can accept those. Also state that there are consequences to the agreement not being honored, namely that this wouldn't be a place where she was able to stay any longer."
A cousin's daughter moved in temporarily but has overstayed and created household problems, including leaving hair in the bathroom, slamming doors, and refusing chores. She has kept large boxes in shared space despite repeated requests to move them and has adopted a sullen, noncommunicative attitude. The homeowner is justified in expecting respectful behavior and cooperation with household order. The homeowner should hold a clear conversation outlining expectations, set consequences for noncompliance, and obtain a timeline for how long the arrangement will continue. If the guest refuses to meet expectations, the homeowner should end the arrangement and ask her to leave.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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