Asking Eric: I never saw the recommendation letter he submitted with my name

"I wrote something short (less than a page) that I thought was truthful and adequate. I inserted my name in the signature block but did not sign it. I told him he could edit it, expecting he would send me the edited version. He added text about projects we'd worked on together, plus awards he'd gotten and been nominated for. The day of the application deadline, I wrote him for the edited version and learned that he'd submitted it."

"I replied that I'd have to notify the chair of the hiring committee that I had not approved the letter. He responded immediately, offering to withdraw it, and I told him to do that. A few days later, I wrote a message in which I tried to explain why he jeopardized professional and personal relationships by submitting his version without my review and approval."

"It's unfortunate that your friend is being stubborn instead of acknowledging his mistake and apologizing. It certainly suggests that he's not a person who understands the value of professional connections, let alone the importance of getting clarity before acting. This whole situation is kind of an anti-recommendation he's not someone who responds well to feedback, nor does he look before he leaps."

A recommender provided an unsigned brief letter and allowed edits, expecting to review changes before submission. The requester added claims about joint projects and awards and then submitted the altered letter on the application deadline without approval. The recommender informed the hiring committee chair the letter was unapproved and asked for withdrawal; the requester initially offered to withdraw but later refused to acknowledge wrongdoing, asserting editing rights justified submission. The recommender kept cordial due to family and professional ties but felt deceptive. The behavior signals poor responsiveness to feedback and weak regard for professional boundaries; cordiality can minimize wider damage.

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