"Few human endeavors are as rewarding and potentially frightening as acts of intimacy. In Robert Sternberg's triad of love-passion, intimacy, commitment-the intimacy stage of a relationship predominates as the passionate stage wanes. This is hardly surprising; the quiet dedication and nuance of intimacy can scarcely emerge in the throes of passion. Where passion feels like a merging of self and other, intimacy requires appreciation of the separateness of self and loved one."
"Intimacy is not a flight from the self but a celebration of the self in concert with another person. Appreciation of separateness makes both partners feel more desired, valuable, and worthy of love. The implicit statement of intimacy is: "Sharing this event (a beautiful sunset, washing dishes, watching a movie) with you, enriches the experience." Intimacy requires self-disclosure, which means not hiding or feeling afraid to talk about what we think and how we feel."
Intimacy combines rewarding closeness with potential fear and typically becomes primary as passionate intensity diminishes. Intimacy requires appreciation of each partner's separateness while celebrating individual selves together. Appreciation of separateness increases feelings of being desired, valuable, and worthy of love. Core behaviors that foster intimacy include acceptance, high regard, promoting each other's welfare, emotional support, occasional shared enjoyable experiences, communication beyond the superficial, and acknowledging each other's unique value. Intimacy is signaled by sharing ordinary events to enrich them together. Genuine intimacy depends on ongoing self-disclosure of true thoughts and feelings and emotional sensitivity rather than mere facts.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]