6 Real Couples Share How They Beat Their 'Dead' Bedrooms

"Anyone who has endured month after month (or year after year, even) of sexual dry spells with their partner is usually at their wits' ends, fearing that the only real solution is separation. It doesn't have to be, said Los Angeles-based sex therapist Shannon Chavez. But a sexless marriage can only be saved if both people are willing to commit to changing."

""The higher-libido partner should have a positive attitude and be patient. Don't take what your partner is experiencing personally," she said. "Be open to hearing what your partner is saying without reacting in a negative way. Show empathy and be understanding as a first step to addressing the concern.""

""When my husband and I were having problems, we went to sex classes and we learned how to have sex. It turns out, like everyone else in the world, no one gets a sex education and we really didn't know enough techniques. There's a lot of reasons that hold people back from having good sex. For us, we needed to learn that couples that play together, stay together, especially in the bedroom. We also learned new techniques that we didn't get from porn but from teachers who knew what they were doing." — Susan Bratton, sex educator and author of Sexual Soulmates: The 6 Essentials for Connected Sex"

Sexless marriages commonly result from mismatched libidos, lack of skills, and poor communication rather than the absence of desire. Recovery requires both partners to commit to change and adopt different attitudes. Higher-libido partners should be patient, avoid personalizing reduced desire, listen without reacting negatively, and show empathy. Lower-libido partners should reciprocate empathy and try new activities that emphasize connection and pleasure. Practical interventions include sex education, structured classes to learn techniques, exploring fantasies with care, and prioritizing play and shared experiences to rebuild intimacy and sexual connection.

Read at HuffPost