"Getting involved with a new relationship, intimate or not, can be fraught with potential traps. Consider the situation of Nicole. She is venturing back out into the dating world after her last serious relationship ended, more with a whimper than a bang. She's worried about who or what she may find out there, but she doesn't want to be lonely either. A friend introduces Nicole to Steve, a neighbor who also became single recently."
"According to a 2018 study by Bastyr University's James McDonald and colleagues (2018), Nicole might want to pay attention to the negatives. Basing their work on married heterosexual couples, the authors note the preponderance of evidence supporting alignment in basic values as an important contribution to harmonious relationships. The "interdependent value congruence" equation only works, though, when both partners value getting along"
New relationships can hide potential pitfalls, mixing enjoyable moments with troubling quirks and confusing behavior. Nicole meets Steve and enjoys his company but notices puzzling comments, a lack of curiosity about her life, and stories that seem exaggerated. Such red flags may signal deeper differences in worldview and core values rather than mere eccentricities. Research finds that alignment in basic values between partners contributes to relationship harmony, but value congruence only functions when both people prioritize getting along. Paying attention to negatives and warning signs helps identify which new relationships are likely to grow into fulfilling partnerships.
Read at Psychology Today
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