"When you've been with your person for years, you've probably done your fair share of spicing things up. You've bought the novelty toys, tried the handcuffs, explored even your most random, passing fantasies. But not every new thing you try in the bedroom has to be a big undertaking, nor do you always have to purchase something to add. In fact, changing the pace of your sex might be one of the most interesting things you can do, and it's totally free."
"Pleasure mapping is the practice of exploring your own body, learning what kinds of touch and pressure you like where and what feelings they produce. "If you prefer a no-pressure solo exploration session that might open you up to new erogenous zones, pleasure-mapping is the place to start," says Rowntree. Guided masturbation can be a helpful tool when you want to set aside time to play around, but feel like you need some sort of, well, guidance."
"If it feels hard to switch gears from work and mom mode into the more intimate you, using a mental cue like a scent can help your brain switch gears more smoothly. Choosing a scent together with your partner can be a fun activity that connects you in and out of the bedroom, and it feels like a lasting addition to your sex life."
Long-term partners can refresh their sex life with small, low-cost changes such as altering the sexual pace, exploring body-based practices, and using sensory cues. Pleasure mapping involves exploring one's body to learn preferred touch, pressure, and erogenous zones, and can include guided masturbation aided by apps or feminist porn sites offering video and audio. Choosing a signature sensual scent together creates a mental cue that helps shift from daily roles into intimacy. Pairing sexual activity with a craveable aroma such as jasmine, sandalwood, or vanilla-caramel can train the brain to associate that scent with arousal and sexual readiness.
Read at Scary Mommy
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