"As they explain in the book Evidence-Based Approaches to Relationship and Marriage Education, their "Sound Relationship House" theory is based on over 40 years of their research at the Gottman Institute. The theory describes the emotional and behavioral pillars that distinguish stable, fulfilling relationships from those that crumble under strain - or "floorplans," if you will. These serve as step-by-step instructions on how to build a relationship from the ground up."
"Every sound house must start with a well-developed blueprint. In terms of a relationship, that blueprint would be what the Gottmans call a love map: your understanding of your partner's inner world. Some partners might assume they can curate their love map based on the "fun facts" they've memorized about their partner - their coffee order, their preferred side of the bed, their favorite color - and call it a day."
The Sound Relationship House theory uses a house-building metaphor to identify emotional and behavioral pillars that distinguish stable, fulfilling relationships from those that crumble under strain. The framework, developed from over forty years of research at the Gottman Institute, functions like floorplans and step-by-step instructions to build a relationship from the ground up and shows structural integrity in helping couples survive rough patches. A foundational element is the love map: a detailed, ever-evolving mental representation of a partner's inner world—hopes, fears, stressors, and dreams—rather than superficial facts. Regularly updating love maps enables partners to respond with understanding and kindness during stress.
Read at Psychology Today
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