10 subtle behaviors that reveal someone isn't actually a good person, even if everyone likes them - Silicon Canals

"I spent years interviewing people for my articles, and one pattern kept emerging: The most likeable people weren't always the kindest. After ending a friendship with someone who constantly competed with me while maintaining a perfect public persona, I started paying attention to the subtle behaviors that reveal someone's true character. These aren't obvious red flags like cruelty or dishonesty. They're the small, easily overlooked actions that slowly poison relationships and environments."

"This selective memory isn't accidental. It's a subtle form of scorekeeping that keeps them in the victim position while ignoring their debts to others. They'll bring up your mistakes from years ago during arguments but genuinely seem puzzled when you mention all the times you've helped them out. I once worked with someone who could recall every minor inconvenience I'd caused them but consistently "forgot" the dozens of times I'd stayed late to help with their projects."

Many people present warm, charming public personas while exhibiting subtle behaviors that undermine relationships. Certain individuals meticulously remember minor slights but ignore favors and support, keeping themselves in a perpetual victim role. Others shift tone and treatment depending on who is watching, revealing audience-dependent authenticity. These behaviors are not overt cruelty or dishonesty but small, repeated actions that accumulate and erode trust and goodwill. Persistent scorekeeping, performative kindness, and selective amnesia create imbalance and resentment. Observing patterns across interactions, rather than isolated moments, helps reveal true character and protect personal and professional boundaries.

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