"Most of my friends and coworkers are struggling to pay exorbitant rent and grocery prices. Inevitably, the insane cost of living here comes up in conversation, and they want to discuss housing costs. Dear Grateful, I try to avoid the topic, but people tend to wonder how I can afford a house in our city, in a desirable neighborhood, on one (very modest) salary."
"While I understand that you want to be thoughtful about how you approach this with your friends, the truth is, the topic is probably going to be uncomfortable no matter what. That's because money can be triggering for people. It can make people feel judged, resentful, misunderstood, rejected-the list goes on. Plus, our capitalist, hyper- individualistic culture makes it really easy to feel less "valuable" if you're struggling financially."
Money-related conversations often trigger strong emotions because financial hardship is stigmatized and treated as a moral failing. Friends who struggle may feel judged, resentful, or less valuable when confronted with inherited wealth. Lying about circumstances risks betrayal if discovered. Instead, establish boundaries by giving brief private answers, deflecting or pivoting to other topics, or saying that housing is a personal matter. Express empathy for others' struggles and avoid boasting. Share context selectively and frame the situation as luck or family inheritance when appropriate. Prioritize relationships by listening and offering nonfinancial support rather than detailed explanations.
Read at Slate Magazine
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