"What exactly is a community? For generations, it was the people you lived next to. The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, the people who'd lean out the window to join you in an opening number about how life here is swell. Nowadays, with many of us spending a significant chunk of our lives online, the term feels broad, and it's not so unusual to not know your neighbor's first name, never mind whether or not they make candlesticks."
"Then, I was holding the hand of this guy I didn't much care for. Don't go feeling too bad for him; the feeling was mutual. We'd tried casually dating but discovered we couldn't stand each other. I was 21, not yet an advice columnist (I was gathering the relevant experience), and I was being tested after unprotected sex with a guy who was not the man sitting next to me."
Community once meant neighbors and local tradespeople participating in shared daily life. Increasing online life has broadened the term and often weakened physical-neighbor connections. Cynicism about the word community can coexist with sudden moments of belonging. A medical appointment and blood draw can prompt reflection on communal bonds and past vulnerability. A 2012 HIV test memory describes a man who accompanied the tested person despite mutual dislike because he understood fear and did not want her to be alone. Real community can appear as meeting responsibilities for people one might not even like.
Read at www.esquire.com
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