Why We Talk: Most Speech Influences Rather Than Informs

"Very little of what we say to other people is designed to inform them about something. Instead, we speak to have an effect on them. For example, a suspect needs an alibi, and a witness tells the police they spent the entire evening together. The witness may not be providing factual information about the suspect's whereabouts. Instead, the statement communicates that the witness thinks the suspect is innocent. Conversely, if they did spend the evening together but the witness thinks the suspect is guilty,"

"If speech evolved to inform, it's hard to understand why it's so unreliable. If it evolved to entertain, seduce, and impress (Miller, 2000), then reliability is not expected. Miller argues that our big brains, along with language, did not evolve only to master the physical environment; they evolved in what biologists call an arms race (a competitive stimulus for evolution, like fast cheetahs and fast gazelles) between those trying to impress others (especially men) and those trying not to be fooled (especially women)."

"A person may say they were abused as a child to gain sympathy, to justify bad behavior, or to gain an ally. It's rare to find someone providing this information without an ulterior motive. But even whether they were actually abused can be up for debate. In one context, a handful of memories of an angry parent may be emphasized to create a sense of abuse;"

Speech is often unreliable as an indicator of what actually happened but reliably signals the speaker's self-experience and appraisal of the listener. Much spoken communication is designed to influence listeners rather than to convey factual information, so statements are selected for their effect. Witnesses and suspects may tailor accounts to signal innocence or doubt, and individuals may report abuse for sympathy, justification, or alliance. Evolutionary perspectives suggest language also evolved for social display and mating-related impressing, creating incentives to deceive and to detect deception. Memory and facts are frequently cherry-picked to support persuasive narratives, and therapists focus on communicative aims.

Read at Psychology Today