The Beliefs That Limit Us, and How to Identify Them

"For more than 20 years, I've studied happiness and well-being. Along the way, I discovered that much of our suffering comes from an invisible source: limiting beliefs. These are the deeply held assumptions about ourselves, others, and the world that quietly shape our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. When left unexamined, they trap us in patterns of unhappiness. But once we see them clearly, we can dissolve them and move toward greater freedom and joy."

"Think of life as a program running in the background. Every experience we have is generated by a chain that begins with a belief. Research shows us how beliefs lead to thoughts (Buschmann et al., 2018). Simply, if I believe that I am unworthy, I will have thoughts about my unworthiness. Thoughts are then a necessary precondition for emotion (Lazarus, 1982). For example, if I have unworthy thoughts, I may feel emotions related to unworthiness."

"I recently caught up with Aaron Abke, author of The Three Beliefs of Ego, who writes about three limiting beliefs that lead to our least enjoyable emotions: sadness, anger, and fear. The belief in lack or incompleteness, which leads to sadness. The belief that outcomes will make us happy, which leads to anger. The belief that we have control, which leads to fear."

Limiting beliefs are deeply held assumptions about self, others, and the world that shape thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and cause suffering when unexamined. Beliefs generate thoughts, and thoughts are a necessary precondition for emotions (Buschmann et al., 2018; Lazarus, 1982). Three central limiting beliefs lead to sadness, anger, and fear: belief in lack or incompleteness; belief that outcomes will make us happy; and belief that we have control. Elevated control beliefs associate with increased anxiety (Millings & Carnelley, 2015). Specific thoughts—shoulds about lacking, expectations that outcomes equal happiness, and perceived control over others—sustain these emotions. Recognizing and disengaging from these thoughts dissolves limiting beliefs and increases freedom and joy.

Read at Psychology Today