Stop Asking "Am I Bilingual?" and Ask This Instead

"Most people think of bilingualism as an either/or proposition: You either sound native in two languages or you are not bilingual. But that narrow definition leaves out millions of people who navigate life in multiple languages, each in their own way. When my friend first asked his question, I gave what I thought was a thoughtful answer: understanding where you fall on the bilingual spectrum gives you a path forward."

"When we don't acknowledge that bilingualism comes in many shapes, we judge. And that judgment has consequences. Language is deeply tied to identity: When someone criticizes how we speak, it feels like criticism of who we are. For receptive bilinguals especially, who already feel uncertain about their speaking abilities, correction doesn't motivate improvement; it confirms their fear that they don't belong in that language."

"Bilingualism exists on a spectrum: There are many types, each shaped by different factors and experiences. Learning a language as a child doesn't guarantee proficiency in all contexts, especially formal ones. Receptive bilinguals understand a language but rarely speak it, yet they possess real grammatical knowledge. Criticizing how bilinguals speak reinforces shame and makes people stop trying. When my friend first asked his question, I gave what I thought was a thoughtful answer:"

Bilingualism exists on a spectrum with many types shaped by differing factors and experiences. Growing up with a language does not guarantee proficiency across all contexts, particularly formal registers. Receptive bilinguals may understand a language fluently but rarely speak it; they nonetheless possess real grammatical knowledge. Social reactions to nonstandard speech forms can provoke shame and withdrawal from speaking. Public correction or ridicule often confirms fears of not belonging and discourages further practice. Recognizing the diversity of bilingual experiences opens pathways for supportive engagement, reduces judgment, and prevents language from becoming a barrier to identity and participation.

Read at Psychology Today