"If you find yourself saying these phrases daily, or cringing when someone else constantly apologizes for perfectly normal behavior, you're witnessing a pattern that runs deeper than simple politeness. After my parents divorced when I was twelve, I became fascinated with understanding why people do what they do. That curiosity eventually led me to therapy after a difficult breakup, where I finally understood attachment patterns I'd been repeating since college. One revelation that hit particularly hard? My tendency to apologize for simply existing in spaces."
"According to psychological research, excessive apologizing in adulthood often traces back to specific childhood environments. When certain dynamics become normalized in our formative years, we carry them forward as survival mechanisms that no longer serve us. Here are seven patterns that psychology links to chronic over-apologizing in adults. 1) Emotional volatility was the norm Remember walking on eggshells as a kid, never knowing which version of your parent you'd encounter? When children grow up with emotionally unpredictable caregivers, they learn to apologize preemptively as a protective strategy."
Chronic over-apologizing in adulthood often originates in childhood survival strategies formed within unpredictable, invalidating, or controlling family environments. Children exposed to emotional volatility learn to apologize preemptively to avoid conflict, treating apologies as tools for managing others' moods. Persistent apologies can generalize to blaming oneself for uncontrollable events and scanning for signs of displeasure in others. Therapy and awareness can reveal attachment patterns and the persistence of these habits into adulthood. Identifying specific childhood dynamics—such as instability, criticism, or enmeshment—helps explain why excessive apologizing persists and suggests paths toward healthier emotional boundaries.
Read at Silicon Canals
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