There's a specific kind of exhaustion that only hits people who spend their entire social life performing a version of themselves they assembled in their twenties and never had a safe enough moment to dismantle. - Silicon Canals

"Most of my social confidence was built in a three-year window between twenty-two and twenty-five, and I've been running on that operating system for over a decade. The jokes I default to at dinner parties, the way I hold a conversation with strangers, the specific tone I use when someone asks how I'm going: all of it was assembled during a period when I was desperately trying to seem like I had things figured out."

"The problem with this framing is that it assumes the version of yourself you settle on in your twenties was chosen freely. For many people, it wasn't chosen at all. It was constructed under pressure, optimized for survival in whatever social environment they happened to be in, and then never seriously questioned because questioning it would mean admitting the foundation was provisional all along."

"Research into emerging adulthood and identity development suggests that the period between roughly eighteen and twenty-nine is when identity formation intensifies. You're making rapid decisions about career, relationships, values, and social presentation. These decisions feel permanent because they're often the first ones you make without parental scaffolding."

Social confidence often develops in early adulthood, particularly between ages twenty-two and twenty-five, but this identity may not reflect true self. Many individuals construct their identities under social pressure, optimizing for survival rather than genuine self-expression. The conventional belief that one finds themselves in their twenties overlooks the reality that many identities are formed under uncertainty and low self-knowledge. Decisions made during this time can feel permanent, yet they often represent a provisional solution rather than a fully realized self.

Read at Silicon Canals