"I am in the kitchen watching the dog and the cat fight when the tortoise suddenly appears. Or to put it another way: I watched the dog and the cat fight for a while, until it became tiresome; the next time I looked up possibly 15 minutes later the tortoise was also there. That's what I mean by suddenly. In real terms, the tortoise doesn't do anything suddenly."
"Are you trying to get in on this? I say. That's what it looks like. The tortoise is poised at the edge of the fray, head up, waiting to bite an unguarded appendage. For a moment the dog has the cat pinned to the floor, and the cat's tail is waving slowly back and forth in front of the tortoise's face. But he misses his chance:"
"Spring is here. Spring is not here. A cold rain is falling outside and the mid-morning light is sepulchral. But a rapid overnight thaw has jarred the tortoise out of suspended animation. He'll stomp around the kitchen in a fury for a few days before he finds a new place to hide under the dog's bed perhaps, or in the gap between the dresser and the wall. Once he's settled he'll retract his legs and head and stay put for another month."
A prolonged dog-and-cat fight occupies the kitchen until a tortoise appears after weeks of hiding beside the sofa. The tortoise moves slowly, positions itself at the edge of the fray, and eyes the cat's tail but fails to bite. The dog and cat continue their violent scuffle, with the cat sinking claws into the dog's neck and the dog dragging the cat across the room. The tortoise meets a human's gaze and accepts offered lettuce. A thaw has ended the tortoise's suspended animation; after wandering to find a new hiding place he will withdraw and remain immobile for weeks. Two men selling farmyard manure appear nearby.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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