The pet I'll never forget: Tilly, the rabbit who taught us how to raise a family

A rabbit named Tilly became a central part of a family’s life after being chosen from shops in south-west London. She showed affection while maintaining strong boundaries, and she caused damage by gnawing books, cables, and furniture. Over eight years, including during a pandemic and personal losses, she remained present and curious, greeting people from under the sofa. When the family learned a baby was coming in 2021, concern arose about managing Tilly alongside parenthood. In October 2021, Tilly developed a limp that rapidly worsened, leading to an expected end. The night before euthanasia, she was left in her hiding spot and died early the next morning, on her own terms. Her story became a guide for how to nurture helpless dependents and respond to needs that cannot be explained.

"Tilly was many things. When our landlord was around, she was at a friend's. To the kale producers of Britain, she was a lifeline. To us, she was affectionate, but with a strong sense of personal space you could tell when she wanted to be touched and when she did not. She was also a menace, gnawing on everything from books to cables and sofa legs. To my family, she was Bad Tilly after a weekend stay that left my father's sofa, skirting board and, somehow, floorboards chewed up."

"But for eight years through a pandemic and other personal losses she was always there, scooting about and poking her nose out from under the sofa to say hi. When we found out my wife was pregnant in July 2021, our relief quickly turned to concern: how would we manage Tilly and a tiny baby? Then, one evening in October 2021, we noticed a hitch in her hop. In a matter of days, that limp turned into being unable to move."

"We booked a visit to the vet to investigate but we knew it was the end. Everything Tilly did was on her own terms.' Photograph: Courtesy of Charlie Lindlar The night before she was to be put down, we left her swaddled in a blanket in her favourite hiding spot under the coffee table. When I checked on her early the next morning, she had already gone. As with everything, Tilly's death was on her terms."

"We parents often scoff at the suggestion that caring for a pet is remotely similar to raising a child. However, I contend that Tilly taught me much about parenthood. How to nurture something that would be helpless without you. How to reason with a tiny creature that cannot understand you. How to handle the ludicrous amount of gear it takes to care for som"

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