The Invisible Type of Emotionally Neglectful Parent

"They lurk in fine neighborhoods, fine jobs, and fine houses. They create fine families, and if you are friends with them, they appear to be absolutely fine. They may drive their children from one sports activity to another, stay on top of schedules, take family vacations, and help their kids with homework. They may even love their children and strive to do their best to raise them."

"The key to the most common type of emotionally neglectful parent, the Well-Meaning-But-Neglected-Themselves (or WMBNT) parent, is summed up by their title. These parents want to do right by their children, but they can't. It's because they grew up emotionally neglected themselves. WMBNT parents cannot give their children what they do not have. Unfortunately, it is that simple. Because childhood emotional neglect is so very common, so are emotionally neglectful parents."

Many parents appear attentive, successful, and loving while nonetheless failing to provide emotional validation and attunement to their children. Those parents often grew up with emotional neglect and therefore lack the internal resources to teach emotional awareness or confirm feelings. The pattern produces children who learn emotions are unimportant or unreal, leaving lasting marks into adulthood. Childhood emotional neglect is common, and emotionally neglectful parenting is widespread because children raised without emotional validation often become parents who repeat the same omissions. The cycle of emotional neglect therefore passes down through generations unless interrupted.

Read at Psychology Today