"The kids are grown. In theory, the parents' job is done. But for many parents, the anxiety regarding their children's well-being continues. Though there are shelves full of books on parenting young children and teens, there is a relative dearth of advice for this stage, which occurs between finishing traditional school and having a career or their own family life."
"Despite having much less power to influence adult children, parents still hope their children will land that ideal job, find a healthy partner, avoid major disappointments, and live a better life than the parents themselves did. Parents hope to protect their grown children from the vagaries of unfairness in the world. Parents may blame themselves for whatever vulnerabilities their children have."
Parenting young adults involves a transition in which parents have less direct control and information about their children's lives. Parents continue to hope their adult children secure good jobs, healthy partners, and protections from unfairness while grappling with self-blame for vulnerabilities. Increased parental intervention can undermine young adults' essential task of experiencing life and learning lessons directly. The loss of routine contact and school-based information sources increases parental anxiety and a sense of helplessness. Reasonable parenting requires balancing support with restraint to allow young adults autonomy while remaining available during difficulties.
Read at Psychology Today
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