"And sometimes you accidentally murder a family pet, then engage in a sophisticated coverup that requires your spouse to maintain an omerta level of silence in order to protect the web of deception you've woven around your children's fragile innocence. You know, normal parent stuff. To be clear about this TODAY.com Parenting Confession of the Week, they didn't mean to kill the hamster."
"We all want to model honesty and raise honest children, but is it OK to lie sometimes - like, hypothetically, when you've committed one tiny, accidental pet murder? "It depends," says expert Colette Brown, a licensed psychotherapist who previously taught for 15 years in New York City Schools. (Gosh, don't you just hate when child development experts give thoughtful, nuanced answers instead of just giving us blanket permission to lie to our kids?)"
Parents sometimes respond to accidental tragedies by inventing stories to protect children's innocence, as in a case where a hamster was accidentally sucked into a vacuum and parents told the children it ran away. Many parents tell occasional untruths such as the Tooth Fairy or shielding details of illness to avoid harm. Decisions about whether to reveal painful facts depend on weighing potential harm to the child, the risk of breaching trust, and the consequences of disclosure. A nuanced, case-by-case approach is recommended rather than blanket permission to lie.
Read at TODAY.com
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